super villainous urination

Today at the daycare, which my mother owns and where I occasionally work, a four year old boy, who we'll call Jake, approached me and announced that another child had wet the pants that he was wearing. Though the story did seem quite unlikely, the urine had collected at the bottom of the boy's pants instead of the usual crotch region. Oddly, it did seem a little odd that he didn't know who had showered him in gold. I am pretty sure that if someone peed on me, I would be able to pick them out of a line up. That's one of those things that you just don't forget.

I questioned the other children about the state of Jake's pants and immediately a slightly old boy started crying. Assuming that they were not tears of sympathy for poor little Jake's violation, I began to question the crier, who we'll call Joey. Joey told me that he was, in fact the pisser, but that Jake was not intended to a victim. He was just an innocent bystander. Joey had simply decided that he missed his mother too much to travel the ten feet to the bathroom. Oh, of course. How perfectly logical.

Unfortunately for Joey, because he is well over five and does not usually pee all over himself and others, he did not have a spare change of over or underpants to change into. I pretty sure the Disney Princess Pull-up he had to wear while his clothes were in the wash has scared him enough to never pee himself or anyone else again.

Little Jake didn't have a change of clothes either. Luckily, he was wearing a full Spiderman costume under his regular attire. He was able to stay in that while we washed his clothes. Jake was not as embarrassed, but I fear the ramifications of his secret identity being exposed.

comic book deaths, a top five

In putting together this list, I rated the death using three basic criteria: the importance of the character to the universe, the way in which the character was killed, and the impact of the character’s death. These factors were based on a zero through five point scale. The only other rule was that to be considered, the character (the time of publication of this blog) had to still be dead with little to no chance of coming back.

So yeah, that means no Spiderman, no Jean Gray (because lets face it even though she’s dead right now, we know the bitch will be back in another couple of years), and no Superman. In fact, apparently DC can’t completely kill in anyone that is even sort of important. They even brought Jason Todd (the Robin that America voted to death) back to life. Seriously? I mean, I know it isn’t any kind of rarity for a superhero or super villain to spontaneously awake from a dirt nap, but unless you count the Crisis stuff where DC skimmed off a few useless characters, DC can’t keep anyone dead. It’s like they’re burying everyone in the Pet Cemetery. Hell, they can’t even kill anyone’s girlfriend or dad or second cousin twice removed. Trust me. I tired to give the kids over at DC a fair chance, but frankly, there just wasn’t anything to work with.


5. Namorita

Death in: Civil War #1 Marvel

Importance: 0
Method Killed: 4
Impact: 5
Cause of death: Trying to fight a guy who could spontaneously combust.

Yeah, she was just a boring secondary character that no one, with the except of her annoying monarch cousin, gave a crap about, but when Nitro exploded killing her, most of her idiotic team, and elementary school full of children all on national TV, it caused a bit of a stir. A stir like when Beauregard led troops into Fort Sumter.


4. Bluebeard

Death in: Fables #16 Vertigo

Importance: 3
Method Killed: 3
Impact: 3
Cause of death: Sword fight with Prince Charming.

Okay. I had a hard time ranking this one. I know that the Fables Universe is a small one and that his death didn’t start as crazy of a story arc or anything, but he was just so much cooler than Namorita. Plus, I felt sort of bad about all of the DC bashing and I thought that I’d give them a few props, sorta. Anyhow, his death did lead to King Cole being ousted as Mayor of Fabletown, and the election was kind of like a civil war… Okay he may not really deserve to be in this slot, but he was so fucking much cooler than Namorita.


3. The Mutant Bus Kids

Deaths in: New X-Men #23 Marvel

Importance: 2
Method Killed: 5
Impact: 3
Cause of death: Religious zealot blew the fuck out of a school bus.

They weren’t individually important characters. They didn’t have any powers. But when the Jerry Falwell of the Marvel Universe goes crazy and blows up a bus full of depowered mutant school children, you can’t deny that at least some part of that kind of makes you think. Plus, it gave the military and even bigger reason to keep the 198 locked down for their “protection.”


2. Uncle Ben and Gwen Stacy

Deaths in: Amazing Fantasy #15 and Amazing Spiderman #121 (respectively) Marvel

Importance: 2
Method Killed: 5
Impact: 5
Causes of deaths: Shot by the burglar that Peter Parker let get away (Uncle Ben) and a snapped neck caused by an attempt to catch her after the Green Goblin threw her from the George Washington Bridge.

I cheated and combined these two because I couldn’t decide who was the most important and I didn’t want to waste space listing them both separately. In my opinion they are killed in quite possibly the most disturbing manor of deaths in comic history (with the possible except of when the Punisher shoots Micro in the face). Seriously, imagine that you’re Peter Parker. You didn’t stop a robber and he killed your father figure, so you decide to become a superhero. But your best friend’s crazy dad doesn’t like the idea that you’re a superhero, so he kidnaps your girlfriend and tosses her off the GW Bridge. You catch in your web and think that you saved her only to find that you probably snapped her neck. No wonder the guy talks to himself.

1. Captain America





Death in: Captain America #25 Marvel

Importance: 5
Method Killed: 4
Impact: 5
Cause of death: Assassination

I don’t think that I need to explain this one. It was sad. It was an amazing story. If Marvel doesn’t let Steve Rogers rest in peace, I may have to try and find some kind of redeeming quality in the JLA.

Avengers Assemble.

breakfast for liars

I often do things impulsively, then wonder whether or not I have done something wrong.

This morning I called my roommate (He owns the house we live in, but it's a two family flat, so technically we don't actually live together, but we still sort of live together, so rather than making up a brand new word to describe the guy, I refer to him as my roommate. He refers to me as the chick upstairs who loves her some run-on sentences.) to see if he would like to eat breakfast with me (which translates into, "Hey, would you like to make me some food?"). He agreed to cook said meal, but only after swimming around in his bathtub for awhile. Not a big deal. I called at eleven and I didn't have to leave for work until twenty after twelve.

Two problems with that thought. Number one, Roommate likes to stay in the tub until he resembles a one of those singing raisins that were on Saturday morning tv in the late eighties. And number two (heh, that means poo), I suck at time. I mean I really suck at time. Especially in the morning. I cease to be able to produce cognitive thought in relation to appropriate intervals for certain everyday tasks (e.g. the length of time it takes to put on a pair of pants). So, due to the combination of Roommate's extended stay in his bath, and my firm belief that I still had plenty of time to get to work, breakfast was finished cooking about five minutes before I was supposed to leave the house.

I was left with two choices rush through my delicious breakfast or call work and lie about the real reason that I was going to be late. I told them that I had to jump my car because I had left the dome light on all night. I feel guilty, but breakfast was great.

space bunnies 101

Hey there kids. Welcome to bunnies from space. I started this here blog thingy because I'll be heading out of this country later on in the year, and I thought that this would be an effective way to share my adventures with family, friends, and random people who stumble upon the page. Until I leave, I will be rambling on about my day to day life (the color of my socks, what my roommate made me for breakfast, how surprisingly awesome low-acid orange juice tastes, etc.). I'm sorry if I bore you, but there are other things on the on the world wide internet to peruse and you're welcome to do that instead. Let's face it, this is predominately for my own entertainment.